Sunday, October 11, 2009

Work...Not so fun right now

Last Wednesday I went back to work for the first time since the middle of July. It was so hard to walk into a place and wonder how you will be judged by everyone. Even before I got halfway down the hall my back started to cringe and hurt so badly that I had to stop to rest. I was sweating and hurting so badly. A lady even stopped to see if I was okay. Thank goodness I didn't get a full blown panic attack. After finally getting to my desk, I was so tired both mentally and physically. All day my ankles and feet were hurting and I was so tired I could barely hold my head up.

Thursday was so hard for me because I worked from home. I had things to do, but I just couldn't seem to focus on my projects. At 10:20 am, I text my husband that "I can't do this work stuff any more. It makes me too nervous and grounchy. I am so frustrated. I so want to quit. I just would like to cry cuz it makes me so unhappy." By mid morning I was already getting brain fog and having trouble concentrating. I also said, "I hate life right now. I do i do i do i do i do." By 11:00 am my back was hurting so bad I could barely stand it as well. I was ready to put in my resignation, but my husband talked me out of it.

Friday was another work from home day. It wasn't much better! I think my work situation needs to be thought about further before continuing. Good thing I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to discuss it.